Okokugqoka, Okokunikela, kunye nendlela yokujongana ngayo neemeko ezixhasayo
Ngaba ulungele ixesha lomtshato kwi- NYC ? Imitshato ibhekiselwe ukuba kube yimikhosi yokubhiyozela, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha iphakamisa iimeko zokubamba izithenkethi ezintle. Kufuneka uchithe ixesha elingakanani kwisipho sakho somtshato ku-NYC? Ngaba unokuzisa umninimzi? Ungathini ukuba ungabi ngumtshakazi? Ngaba unxibe loo ngubo emhlophe emhlophe kumtshato womhlobo wakho?
Sabuza uManhattan-isiseko sobugcisa bomtshato u-Elise MacAdam, umbhali weNto entsha: i-Wedding Etiquette ye-Rule Breakers, i-Traditionalists kunye nayo yonke into ephakathi kwayo , ukuphendula eminye imibuzo eqhelekileyo ezayo kwiindwendwe zomtshato zaseNew York.
Umninimzi weNdwendwe yoMtshato # 1: Yintoni endiyenzayo malunga nomtshato okhoyo? Ngaba ndithenga kwi-registry? Nika imali? Yimalini? Ngaba ndimele ndiyizise emtshatweni?
Iseluleko sika-Elise: Akukho mithetho malunga nezipho zomtshato kwaye ngelixa umgaqo-nkqubo usebenza kwihlabathi jikelele, kubaluleke kakhulu eNew York apho abantu bevela kwimvelaphi eyahlukeneyo ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Abanye babanika imali kuphela, abanye babonelela kuphela, njl. Kwakukho imithetho emininzi kwiNew York yekhulu le-19, xa izibini zomtshato zithemba ukuba iindwendwe ziyakuyeka ukunika izipho, ngokukodwa izinto ezinjengama-linens okanye ii-housewares ezicinga ukuba lolwalamano.
Umgca wokugqibela kukuba iindwendwe akudingeki ukuba "zihlawule iiplate" zazo kwaye akukho mali echaziweyo yezipho. Bamele banike oko banokukwazi ukukwenza kunye noko bavakalelwa ukunikela. Ukuba aphukile ukuba anike nantoni na, kufuneka athumele isibini esitshatileyo ukuba avule kunye nabo besithi bayonwabile kangakanani ukuba babandakanywa kwimibhiyozo.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, akusiyo ingcamango engcono yokuzisa izipho kumtshato ngokwawo. Abantu abasandul 'ukutshata baya kubanjwa bazama ukufumana indlela yokufumana yonke into ekhaya ekupheleni kokumkela kunye namathuba okuba ulahlekile okanye aphule aphezulu kakhulu kunokuba ungayithunyelwa.
Umninimzi weNdwendwe yoMtshato # 2: Umhlobo omdala kodwa ongeyena-umhlobo wandicela ukuba ndibe ngumyeni wakhe womtshato. Ndiye ndibe ngumfazi osisigxina ngokuphindwe kathathu kwiminyaka emithathu edlulileyo kwaye andinakukwazi ukuyifumana ngoku ngoku. Ingaba kukho na indlela yokubhenela ngaphandle?
Iseluleko sika-Elise: Ukulindela abantu abanako abafazi abafazi bahlala bekhudlwana kwaye bebiza kakhulu.
Kukho iindlela zokucima, kodwa kuphela ngokutya okugqithiseleyo nokuziphatha kakuhle.
Umtshakazi ungumhlobo wakho kwaye kufuneka azi iimeko zobomi bakho. Ngaphambi kokuba wenqabe umsebenzi, xela umtshakazi uze umxelele ngemingcele yakho. Ukuba unelungelo elincinane lokulindela, awuvumelekanga ukuba unikezele imbeko (mhlawumbi ungenayo ukuthenga ingubo). Ukuba ufanele ube ngumtshakazi womfazi kuphela okanye omnye wabantu abambalwa, kuya kuba nzima ukunqanda isicelo, kodwa kuya kuba lula kuwe ukuba uthethe kumhlobo wakho malunga nokuncipha kwemali uze ufikelele yokungqubuzana. Enyanisweni, akukho mntu kufuneka ahambe ematyaleni ukuba abe ngumtshakazi.
Enyanisweni, ukuba iqela lomtshato likhulu kakhulu, uya kusadingeka uxelele umhlobo wakho ukuba awunako ukufumana ukuzinikela okongezelelweyo kwemali kwaye ungafuni ukuvumela umntu ukuba ahlawule. Yithi ujabule ukuba ucelwa ukuba ube emtshatweni kodwa ukuba ucinga ukuba uya kukhululeka xa uhlala "ngumhlali".
Umngane weNdwendwe yeNdwendwe # 3: Ndamenywa kumtshato wam osebenza naye. Igama lam lilodwa kuphela kwisimemo. Andiyicingi ukuba uyazi ukuba ndinomfana ophilileyo. Ngaba mna i-RSVP bobabini okanye ngaba kufuneka ndihambe ngedwa?
Iseluleko sika-Elise: Le yimeko apho ufuna ngokwenene ukuthetha nomnye osebenza naye.
Akufanele ungeze umntu ongamenywanga kwikhadi lakho lokuphendula kwaye akufanele uvele nje kunye nekwenkwenkwe yakho. Ekubeni ubudlelwane obude bexesha elide, wena kunye neqabane lakho kufuneka nimenywe kwimitshato njengendoda esibini. Akukho nto ephosakeleyo ngokubuza ngokuzithoba ukuba wena kunye nekwenkwenkwe yakho unako ukuya emtshatweni. Ukuba uxelelwe ukuba kufuneka uhambe kwedwa, unokukhetha ukhethe okanye uhlale umtshato.
Umninimzi weNdwendwe yoMtshato # 4: Ndineengubo ezimhlophe endibathandayo kwaye ndikhangeleka kakhulu kulo. Ayibonakali njengengubo yomtshato. Ngaba ndingayigqoka kumtshato womhlobo wam?
Iseluleko sika-Elise: Kutheni ubangele ibhodwe? Ngokuqhelekileyo kuthathwa njengefomu ifanele ukumbathisa umhlophe kumtshato ngaphandle kokuba ungumtshakazi kwaye uhamba kuyo kuloo ngubo kunokukufumana lula ukujonga okungahlambulukanga.
Ewe, kukho ukungafani kule nkqubo.
Ngamanye amaxesha abafazi banxiba abakhwenkwe babo emhlophe kwaye kukho imitshato apho iindwendwe ziyalelwe ukuba zigqoke zimnyama okanye ezimhlophe (Truman Capote yenze le style style eyaziwayo nge-1966 yakhe eyaziwayo i-Black and White Ball ihlonipha uKatherine Graham kwi-Hotel ye-Plaza).
Kodwa ngaphandle kokuba uyazi ukuba awuyi kubonakala ngathi uzama ukuntshontsha ukukhanya komtshakazi, fumana enye into yokugqoka. Cinga ngolu hlobo njengethuba lokuthenga.
Umngane weNdwendwe yeNdwendwe # 5: Ndamenywa kwiqela lokudibanisa. Ngaba kufuneka ndizise umnikelo?
Iseluleko sika-Elise: Akukho zigunyazo zamanje zokubandakanya amaqela. Kuxhomekeke kuwe. Ukuba ufuna ukuzisa into ethile, akudingeki uhambe ngaphaya kwebhodi. Izibhengezo, izipho ezithengiweyo ezifana newayini, i-chocolate, okanye ezinye iindawo ezinokuzikhethela zikhethileyo kwaye azivumelanga ukuba zithwale ngokugqithiseleyo ngeendlela zokubonisa, ngoko unako ukubanika ngaphandle kokucingela ngamandla malunga nesenzo.